Transvestia

certainly he didn't hesitate to punish me often and severely. I'm sure I was a little demon, but then I was a boy, wasn't I, and aren't boys supposed to be full of "snips and snails and puppy dog's tails" and lots of mis- chief? I remember quite clearly getting my bottom wal- loped terribly when I was eight years old and happened to be late arriving home the day the photographer had come to take the pictures of us children. Of course, I had been off somewhere playing and completely forgot about that old photographer. But I will never forget now! In fairness, I don't believe my father was a sadist or such, simply a stern and impatient man who didn't realize how he was molding his children.

The very first memories were a strange awareness and emotion which pulsed through my young body, aged 11 or 12 or so, while looking at lingerie and underwear ads in a mail order catalog. One thing led to another, I guess, until I was secretly trying on my mother's un- mentionables when no one was around. Why did I do it? Again, I don't know. Perhaps association of the visual stimulation from photographs to seeking further stimu- lation from the actual materials. Somewhere I missed the connection that it was or should have been the fe- male that was the stimulation, not what she was wearing. But sidetracked I was and have been ever since.

During high school and after this my interest in femininity was growing. I slowly built a wardrobe. Girls this is literally the truth. I sewed from an old pair of pajamas my first bra, and made my first high-heeled shoes from an old worn-out pair of shoes I had, using crude wooden heels to get me up off the lowly earth! I laugh about this now but I was dead serious at the time. Of course, they looked awful as you can imagine but love is blind and I was in love with femininity.

Time after time I tried to quit. I had the usual fears about being a homosexual. I read everything I could read anywhere about unusual sex practices. You all know that there isn't much in print in legitimate libraries about transvestism. The closest would probably be Havelock Ellis and that is how many years old? Even the Reader's Guide to Periodical Literature doesn't offer much. So I continued to develop and then go through the agonies of

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